So I have 1) a husband in grad school at OSU, 2) an almost two year old son and 3) a full load of courses at CSCC.
I know some of you have your time limited even further than I do – some of you have one or two jobs to contend with as well, and some of you have even larger families. I’m interested in finding out how people are juggling all of these responsibilities, especially because there are a lot of parents at CSCC.
How do you study for exams (with me it’s especially hard because this is the exact time my husband is studying for his exams and he’s at school all day for basically two weeks) and finish your papers and get everybody fed and get everybody to doctor’s appointments etc?
If anybody has ever read the Judy Brady essay “I Want a Wife,” or you have children yourselves, you know what I mean. Sometimes I feel like the narrator of the essay does, only much much less bitter.
And if you are having a hard time fitting everything in, what’s the first thing to go? Your classes or grades? Or do you start feeding your family from a dollar menu? And does your family understand and support your educational goals, or is it something you have to figure out on your own?
June 13, 2009 at 1:50 pm |
I have five children, a husband, a job, and a course load at CSCC, (though it’s not a full one). While it can be frustrating, it’s also very fulfilling. My family supports my continuing education 100%. Even the little one, who will sometimes say to me…
“Mommy do you have homework tonight?”
The doctor’s visits are easy….we do those during breaks at CSCC, and for the minor emergency, Urgent Care is our best friend. I wait tables which keeps my work schedule flexible. There’s always someone willing to cover or trade a shift with me. So it works there too.
I miss some of my children’s baseball/softball games….etc. which I hate, but my husband makes it to everyone of them, so the kids take it in stride. Mostly my children and my husband are proud of me and that makes me work just a little bit harder in class.
For me personally, being a part-time student works best. I tried a full course load, and felt I missed too much with my family. Sure it’s taking me longer this way, but it’s worth it to me. I enjoy watching my children grow, and don’t want to miss too much of it.
Anyways, to each their own. The most important thing to learn as a “SuperMom” is this….what works for one doesn’t work for all. Keep plugging away at it until you find what works for you. Stay flexible and willing to change your schedule at home, at school, and/or at work.
Life has it’s own rewards. GO MOMS GO!
June 15, 2009 at 5:38 pm |
Believe me, I know how hard it can be and the first thing to go is study time. I myself, work 50 hours a week, have fulltime classes, a husband, children, house, yard, etc. It is very hard to juggle and sometimes I feel like throwing in the towel.
It seems the more I beg for study time the less I get. I feel guilty if the kids and husband need attention and I am too busy to give it to them. If anyone has answers I would like to hear them.
June 16, 2009 at 12:06 am |
Hello. I understand exactly what you’re going through. I myself, am juggling a full schedule (usually 13 – 15 hours), a 14 month old, as well as being pregnant again, and a Sig other also in school. For my English 101 class, I used this essay (Brady’s) to exemplify my feelings about being a parent!
I’ve noticed both my grades are dropping, as well as I’ve withdrawn from a few classes. My advice is talk to an advisor. Allow them to “guide” you. I’ve learned that an E(Grade) can drop your GPA but can be repeated at a later time to revive your GPA (just dont let it drop too far) whereas a W(Grade) will stay on your transcript forever unless you retroactively withdraw.
Make an appt with your advisor. Generally they will not spend but 10 minutes maybe with you and they themselves will tell you to make an appt if you have “further” questions.
Good luck! Let me know how things go.
June 16, 2009 at 2:06 am |
As a mother of 4 that still works full time and goes to college full time, I find it’s almost impossible. My children are aged 6, 4, 2 and 10 months. When I first started college back in January, I was still breastfeeding my youngest. That was the first thing that I had to give up because there just wasn’t time. Then I had to adjust my work schedule from 5 8 hour days to 4 10 hour days. This helped tremendously but my employer has not been happy about it and I’ve been targeted for labor cuts (meaning they send me home early a lot) as a result.
The only thing that works is a strict schedule. The first day of the quarter I make out a daily schedule that includes homework time, time with my children, time to clean, cook and sleep. I also have to pencil in 1-2 hours of free time for myself or I will go crazy. Luckily, Columbus State offers lots of online classes that I take advantage of. This allows me to do my school work after my kids go to bed. Or, if they’re really driving me crazy, I can let them play outside and take my laptop out on the patio to do work.
I’ve been lucky enough to have an extremely supportive husband who has really outdone himself. He’s become Mr. Mom so I can finish school and still manages to maintain a full time job as well and help raise my four kids. Now that he’s starting back to school, we’ve had to consider daycare but it won’t be all bad to have the kids in another group for a while. They’ll be learning how to get along with other kids which is good.
When people ask me how I do it I just smile and say, “Structure, scheduling and flexibility for the unknown!”
June 16, 2009 at 6:43 pm |
I have a similar situation to you, but not exactly the same. I am expecting my first child (due in august), attend CSCC fulltime, work fulltime, and live with my boyfriend whom I cook, clean, etc., for. I know that my time will become furtherly crunched once the baby is here, but I refuse to freak out. This is what I have been doing thus far:
1) Attend CSCC online. It gives me the flexibility to complete my school work on MY time. I am not obligated to attend any lectures… only exams if required to be taken on campus. This also allows me to have a free schedule to work whenever I wish.
2) Work during the daytime. I elect to work during the day because it gives me the rest of the evening to take care of things such as bills, school work, cooking and cleaning, and all of the little things in between.
I honestly find this to be the best solution, and especially with the baby. What I plan to do when she is here is to create a fixed work schedule so that it will be the same every week, that way babysitting only revolves around my schedule, not my boyfriends and mine combined. As far as doctor visits, and other odds and ends, these can be taken care of on my days that I have off. Everyone has their own method of doing things, and I know that I cannot fully speak up for myself on motherhood as I have yet to give birth, but I have came up with this by recieving a lot of advice from my family members and peers who have families.
Good luck
June 16, 2009 at 10:49 pm |
Wow! Some of you have a lot more responsibility than I do, and I feel guilty for being stressed out! (Also, things are much better this week now that finals are over and papers are turned in.) I really appreciate the advice, especially the part about structure, which I know I should work on, but it’s always the first thing to go. I think taking classes online is a great idea, too, and I’ve had good experiences with that in the past, but it still means that I’m up after everybody’s gone to bed, sitting at my laptop, reading discussion boards. Erica’s advice about talking to an advisor seems really good, too, for trying to head off problems at the pass. I seem to see a theme of helpful husbands (like Cynthia’s who goes to kid’s ball games and Liz’s who has become Mr. Mom), and Helen, I recognize the guilt feeling. It’s what bothers me the most probably, especially when I’ve been working on something for a long time and my son really wants me to read him a story or my husband forgot something important and wants me to take it to him. But still, I love it, and I wouldn’t trade it, so to the expectant mother, it’s hard work but it’s all worth it, which is a total cliche, but it’s also true. I like what Cynthia said, that life has its own rewards. And also, the quarter’s over and I feel like I really accomplished something. Congratulations Ashlee! August is coming up soon…
June 24, 2009 at 3:58 pm |
I have 4 children 22, 20, 7 and 3. The 20 and 7 year old are mild autistic and we think that the 3 year old is as well. The 3 year old can be a handful and sometimes I have to do my work while she sits on my lap. This slows down the process of course. I have a full course load 12 to 15 hours and I keep my job to part time. I am lucky my husband’s work is not going to be gotten rid of and fortunate that I have student loans to pay for the schooling. I do my school work while my children are in school but my schooling is online. I also do it while they play around the house. I have found that a small schedule up showing when things are due and reading and doing school work while the children are busy is the only way I am getting through. I have some support from my older children. They help my hubby watch the kids when I have to go and take a test. I let my husband know when my tests are and he gets home early so that I can go and take them. My boss has been real supportitve by letting me cut my hours to 2 days a week. I know it is harder with smaller children. Good luck to you all!